Life Cycle of Relationships

You may find some comfort in this paradigm, developed by Terrence Real who presented it at a workshop I attended.

Knowing that disharmony is inevitable may help you with your relationship within yourself and with others.

Consider this: when a baby is born, parents do their very best to attain a mutual state of harmony--feeding, changing, holding, rocking, comforting the baby so that the baby is cared for and so that there is harmony with the caretakers who feel competent as parents...and get some sleep.

Everybody is relieved, in harmony.

Then, the baby awakens hungry, or has a pain, or is in some state of internal disharmony and the caretakers set about repairing, doing what is needed to relieve the situation for all to get back to harmony, the preferred state.

The internal state of individuals is similar as we go through our daily life; our relationships with others go through this cycle, too. We are getting along fine, happy with each other, enjoying life and something occurs, an external event, misunderstood words, a slight, a betrayal etc. and we are in disharmony with the people we relate to, live with, work with, play with, study with.

We often do all we can to repair the disruption, to return to harmony once again.

Knowing and accepting this may enhance our understanding of the people and situations in our lives and motivate us to learn repair skills, coping mechanisms, using the healthy resources we have within and without.

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

e.e. cummings

HERE IS AN IDEA FOR YOU: ONE WAY TO BE HAPPY:

SHOW UP

PAY ATTENTION

SPEAK YOUR OWN TRUTH

LET GO OF THE OUTCOME

Angeles Arrien