Sitting With It

“I ‘ve only learned one thing from you after all these years in group therapy!”

That’s what she said when telling me and the other group members good-bye.

She had been in regular weekly attendance, missing only for a knee surgery and an occasional work meeting.  Often quiet, with a sharp sense of humor, she had a warm way about her and the others were sorry to see her go, although she had talked it over with them and they agreed that her accomplishments were many, that she was “ready to graduate” from our group.

I was puzzled.  “only one thing?”   As I saw it, she had found a way to be connected with the significant people in her life, gotten a nice promotion at work, even getting along better with her mother and enjoying time with her father.  

I had watched her open up with group members, get in touch with how she was feeling and thinking about them and about me, and be brave enough to share with the others in the room, not an easy task when some feelings were difficult and hard to hear.

I not only wanted to know what this one thing was, but I needed to know.  Had I actually said words that had made such a difference to her!  What magic bon mot had I laid on her?

Rolling her eyes , she said, “You told me to ‘Sit with it.’”   

That was it?  That was the one thing?